8-31-2013

6th day of school. Note sent home:

Kiddo did great this morning. Completed all his morning work.

In P.E. struggled with a new game. Was not being safe. Was redirected and got upset. Shut down and cried. Tried to get him to come to BMC but then got upset when he missed recess. Finally got him back down again after 30 minutes. Called parents. Did much better. Had computer time at end of day in BMC.


Now to what I know: I got a call around 1:10 PM from Ms. BMC. She said that Kiddo was in the hallway crying, and that she was trying to get him to come into the BMC classroom but he would not comply. She stated that Kiddo had had an issue in P.E. where he was reprimanded for not playing a new game correctly. He was being too "rough" was the initial verbiage that Ms. BMC used. She said after he was reprimanded he went over to the side of the Gym and refused to participate in the rest of the activity. Even though the coach tried to speak with him. Then when it was time to go to recess Kiddo said he wanted to go to recess. By this time Ms. Gen Ed teacher was there and told him that he would need to wait and have a discussion about what happened in the Gym. Then he could go to recess. This upset Kiddo even further and when he saw Ms. BMC coming down the hall for him he collapsed in the hallway, continued to cry and say that he wanted to go to recess and that he would not comply.


I asked if I could speak to him. At that time Ms. BMC said let me call you back from my cellphone, that way I can take it out into the hallway and you can speak with him. I said ok. So she called me back. and took her cell out into the hall to where Kiddo was crying. She asked him to take the phone and talk to Mom. Kiddo batted her hand away and said no he didn't want to talk to me. So she waited until the hall was clear of students and then put me on speaker. I could hear that there was no consoling him before i was even on speaker. He was in a locked in meltdown state. He was not going to come out of this gracefully. I told him that everything was ok. Dad and I weren't mad, but would he please go into the classroom. I heard Ms. Special Ed teacher tell him that his classmates would be coming back by from PE later and that that would mean that his classmates would see him on the floor in the hallway crying. I explained to him that this was important for him to get up and go in the classroom, that he didn't understand why but to please do it for me because it was important. He said no. he wasn't doing it.


At this point I told Ms. BMC to please ask Ms. Special Ed teacher to have his homework in his backpack that I was going to pick him up, because I couldn't see him coming out of this at school he was locked in. Recess could have been the time for him to reset and move on. But that time was over, and he missed it.


I call hubby and explain that Kiddo is in shutdown mode at the school and that im going to get him and i will call to explain what happened on my way. Hubby says hes going with, so I go pick him up, and explain what is going on on the way to the school. Once we get to the school, is when things get a bit unclearer.


We arrive at the school and get badges to proceed to the classroom. Ms. BMC meets us in the hallway and says that Kiddo would not go into her room but agreed to go into another room. So She calls Ms. Special Ed teacher to bring him out of that classroom and down the hall. When she does she ushers him back toward the classroom and he goes and sits down and starts taking instruction. His eyes look tired and he looks like he has been through the wringer. He sees us but follows his teachers lead and goes back to class because we are still talking.


At this point we are told that The P.E. Teacher is the one we need to talk to so we can get the beginning of the story, like... what was the game they were playing, that he didn't understand. What was "playing rough" etc? The P.E. Teacher is in class though and cannot be disturbed so they will have to call us back. So we start asking questions. Why was recess taken away? Why did he need to hash and rehash what happened? Couldnt the "talking" been done after recess?


At this point we got a lot of I don't knows. Im not sure. This teacher did a great job in this, this teacher did a great job in that. But it was Kiddo that didn't do a great job. Ok, sure he got emotional. He wasn't able to talk about what happened, and he didn't want to miss recess. What kid does? Hubby reiterates that we do not want recess taken away as a punishment. That they missed their opportunity to let him calm down, reset so to speak, and then they could talk to him about things after that. He sees the other kids going outside while he has to stay behind, and in his mind its a punishment. Hubby told them again. DO NOT take away recess. He is ADHD, he needs to expend that energy so that he can focus in the classroom. He needs that time to decompress. We ask to speak to the Ms. Gen Ed teacher so that we can understand why he needed to rehash what happened in P.E.


Ms. Gen Ed teacher sends out Ms. Special Ed Teacher, and Kiddo is still in class. Ms. Special Ed teacher tells us that it was Ms. BMC who insisted that Kiddo stay behind from Recess and discuss what happened in P.E. not Ms. Gen Ed teacher. Which didn't make sense because Ms. BMC told us that Kiddo didn't collapse on the hallway floor until he saw Ms. BMC walking toward him to take him to her classroom. Which meant he knew there would be no recess time for him. Because every minute he spends in her classroom is time he wants to be outside running around. At this point we really get no more information on what happened other than, We will send the P.E. teacher an email and have her call you. Finally they let Kiddo come out of the class. he comes over to me and gives me the biggest hug. And I whisper in his ear, "You are not in trouble. We are here for YOU, to help YOU. And we will work this out. He said ok, and that he knew. And we talked for a moment about a few other things. And then he went back to class.


Hubby and I go back to work and resume the day.


I finally get a call from Ms. P.E. teacher. about 2:40 PM. She tells me what happened. "They were doing 3 minute station activities and there were 12 different activities. The first one was 'zigzag poles' where the kids would have to weave in and out of the poles". (I think, i didn't even understand, but I guess i needed the visual...). "Kiddo stated that he didn't understand the game. And that he threw himself on the floor, and it scared me because I thought that he hit his head on the floor. At this point I reprimanded him that I was concerned he might hurt himself. I told him I would take him over and explain the game again, but he started crying. At that point I did as instructed by Ms. BMC in the past and left him to have a few minutes to get himself together. In the past, usually this has helped. Today it did not. After a few minutes I went back over and said 'Kiddo if you don't participate I will have to write in your folder to your Mom that you wouldn't participate in P.E. class' to which he made an 'ARGH' crying sound and degraded further. at that point I realized that that was a mistake, and wasn't going to help today, and that I probably should have just left that out. Every day is different with him. Some days hes receptive and will get back on the ball. Today was not that day."


She did ask me to please tell Kiddo that she is sorry, and she is happy to help him anytime he needs her. That she wants him to be safe, and not get hurt. And that next time if he asks she will be glad to show him the game that they were playing. I told her yes I would talk to him.



So at the end of all this I pick Kiddo up at the end of the day, and he knocks out homework like nobody's business. He did so good, and I was so very proud of him and his hard work.


I feel very much like its Kiddo all alone and against the school right now. I can see very clearly that when they look at him they see "NORMAL KID" who is behaving like a spoiled brat. What they cant seem to understand is that he isn't going to behave like every other kid, because his brain doesn't operate like every other kid. His brain doesn't even operate like every other kid with ADHD. He is a unique little guy. And he very much wants to be accepted. He very much doesn't want to be called out in front of all the other kids because it takes longer for him to "get it". How about just give some general direction? How about considering his feelings?!?! He wants to blend in. And everyone knows that he doesnt handle his emotions very well, so stop trying to provoke them. And By God above all else, don't take recess away! You said yourself that he worked so hard in the morning to get all of his work done. Hes working for that recess!!! Don't blow that on one incident in an elective class!